Make My Day Real-Life Stories From Property Managers

There’s a scene in the classic film Dirty Harry in which the eponymous detective, played iconically by Clint Eastwood, is called off the main case in order to stop a would-be suicide from jumping from a tall building. After this successful digression, we learn how he earned his nickname—he does the department’s dirty work.

Managing a condo building or HOA can be an adventure, no matter how small the community or how civil and well-mannered the unit owners may be. Problems inevitably arise, and when they do, the managing agent generally winds up serving the function of Dirty Harry. Like Dirty Harry, they solve the problem, often in innovative ways. And while said adventures usually involve disputes about noise and heating temperatures and odd cooking smells and not chasing serial killers across co-op rooftops…one never knows. As one manager remarked when told of this piece’s focus, “There’s just so much crap that goes on.”

We asked some of the Garden State's veteran property managers to share their most memorable adventures. The stories, ahem, made our day.

Denture Adventure

A condo building managed by North Bergen-based Cervelli Management leased space to a doctor’s office, leading to this odd tale:

A patient at said doctor’s office—call him Rupert—managed somehow to not only drop his dentures into a toilet, but also to flush them down. (Think about the confluence of bizarre circumstances that led to this happening; many toilets overflow with too much tissue in the bowl, yet this magical commode flushed away false teeth with no problem at all).

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